often hear parents say, “Our dog is so good; he lets the kids do anything to him.”
Let’s stop and think about this. What does “good” mean in this context? Does it mean our toddler can climb on him? Does it mean our preschooler can dress him up? What does it mean, and is it fair to your dog?
Is “good” truly good, respectful, and comfortable for your dog, or is your dog tolerating something that you already know isn’t quite right?
Often, when parents say this, they have a hunch that their dog’s tolerance is being challenged. So why do we expect our dogs to live in a state of tolerance around our children instead of setting the goal for them to enjoy being around our children?
Think of it this way: Your child’s aunt comes over to your home. Would you consider her a good aunt if your child could climb on her and do anything they’d like, regardless of her comfort? Or would you teach your child about boundaries and how to interact in a respectful and appropriate manner? My guess is the latter.
We must change our expectations and stop making the goal that our kids can do A, B, or C to our dog and that they simply will tolerate it. When we state A, B, or C, we are acknowledging that tolerance is being challenged and boundaries have been crossed.
At what point would your dog become a “bad” dog? If they stopped tolerating uncomfortable interactions and growled or snapped?
What if we could prevent that through an understanding of body language and by accepting that when we see our dog is uncomfortable, we should help them out of the situation while teaching our children at the same time?
The truth is that we can prevent most bites from happening by observing and responding to our dog’s subtle body language signals. We must listen to their silent voices and teach our children to do the same. Kids can learn to read body language at a very early age, especially when parents model respect for those signals and talk about them openly.
So, let’s think about your own dog. Is there anything your dog allows your kids to do that you might think they are merely tolerating? What changes might you make today to change this?